In this ninth episode of the Candidate’s Diary, Campaign Manager tries his hand as a film director

I reflect on the fact it’s been a crazy few days.

Using his pilot background from the RNZAF followed by thirty three years flying the world with Qantas Airways, Campaign Manager husband has come up with a plan for a movie.

This definitely won’t make the final at next month’s Cannes Film Festival.

With a Dam Buster theme I splice together the wobbly pieces we have filmed on the `point and shoot’ camera. I lightly suggest this could be the most unprofessional and incomprehensible short film of all time.

He disagrees, saying that perhaps the second worst could be true.

Background to the video

The Campaign Manager has decided to weaponise the car for the final phase of the campaign to win Nottingham North. It now has an embarrassingly large roof ad. The movie idea has grown from that and I console myself that if it doesn’t get me one more single vote, at least we’ve had fun making it.

The ad is meticulously assembled on my drawing room floor. When it is finally bolted to a complicated roof rack plate, at grave risk of chopping off our fingers we plant the magnificent object on its mounting. It is now ready for the filming.

What follows next is a test run around the neat suburbs of the electorate.

Will the lift forces spoil our day?

CM is deeply concerned that the lift forces developing over the surfaces might actually get us airborne as we drive over some of the more humongous speed bumps at full speed. Even worse, the whole thing might tear itself loose from the fixtures.

All passes the test with flying colours. The public reaction is mixed, varying from bemusement to bewilderment.
I chat to members of the public in the many car parks we visit.

“Yes, we know who Ed is all right!” Their main concerns are whether he can be trusted in power and the hard turn to the left by the Labour Party.

They recognise me from my leafleting campaign. Perhaps this crazy film will work to a degree.

Time will tell. There are just eleven days left before finding out.